Sorry this is very last minute…I had no idea who was going to post the next blog. I knew I was after Clare, but Kristen was skipped. O well, It doesn’t matter.
So I really kind of wanted to focus on the violence portion of class we had today with the guest speaker. I think most teens and young adults know what abuse is, however when they are being abused they do not know they are. They ignore it to try to focus on the bliss of being in a relationship. But if you have to suffer, than why be in it? I have had a few friends who have been verbally and physically abused by past boyfriends, yet they still stayed with them. When I ask them why, it is usually because they think that they are doing something wrong. (By the way, all of my friends that were abused were girls) So they try to “fix” themselves, but nothing is wrong with them. It is really just sad to watch. I think the only instance of physical violence on teen mom, which I can think of at the moment, was Gary and Amber. I think their case was unique in the fact that Gary was abused. But I also think that Amber was psycho and blamed Gary for everything wrong in her life. I don’t know, that’s just my take. I think (as we talked about in the last blog) that violence should be a very important focus when talking about sex and relationships. Teens at a young age need to be taught these things so they don’t have to suffer through abuse.
In one of the videos in class today (I can’t remember her name) the girl broke up with her boyfriend, and then he sent her a text saying that he was going to kill himself if she left him. That has never happened to me personally, but I have had friends (mostly girls) come to me for advice on what to do. The first thing I want to say is to dump the crazy. If they threaten to hurt themselves, and you stay in the relationship, who’s to say they won’t end up hurting you? What do you guys think? Suicide or even just hurting oneself is kind of out of your hands. But anyways, one of the students in class noticed that the website did not tell you what to do in that situation. I think that a huge problem because it happens to SO MANY PEOPLE and they have no idea how to react to the situation. Of course you don’t want anyone to kill themselves, but how to you know they won’t? I think the website is good to show videos of situations like these, but they need a follow up to explain a good option for the problem.
I really like the guest speaker and how she kind of focused on victims. I agree with her. I feel like we should sympathize with the victim; however what happens to them (in certain situations) could be their own fault. Watch the news and you hear about a person who was mugged or raped. Yes this is horrible, but if they were walking alone in a dark alley, it is kind of their fault. They should not have put themselves in that position in the first place.
Sorry that this is so sporadic, just my thoughts at the moment.
Danielle Brown
Danielle, I agree with a lot of your points. These days there are a lot of abusive relationships especially with teenagers. As you mentioned Gary and Amber's relationship was extremely abusive and not healthy. When I think of abusive relationships the first couple that pops into my mind are Sammie and Ronnie from MTV's Jersey Show. According to an article I read online abusive relationships are characterized by extreme jealousy, emotional withholding, lack of intimacy, raging, sexual coercion, infidelity, verbal abuse, threats, lies, broken promises, physical violence, power plays and control games. If you look at this, we can all agree that this takes place quite often on teen mom. My immediate advice for a relationship like this is to break up and move on. It's not worth being in a relationship that is constantly revolved around these negative things. What most people don't realize too is that abusive relationships are not just physical. Emotional abuse is also a huge factor in a lot of these relationships. I also enjoyed the guest speaker and thought her advice was very helpful. I think another factor in abusive relationships is also the drug and alcohol abuse that affects a lot of teenagers today. Alcohol and parties cause a lot of the abusive relationships on the show Jersey Shore. Take Sammie and Ronnie for example, the two of them are constantly fighting while under the influence. In one of the most recent episodes Ronnie tries to throw Sam off her bed by picking up the bed (while she is on it). This is not normal. If I were Sam I would immediately break up with Ronnie. But a lot of people become dependent on their boyfriends and it makes it tough to do that. Any violent relationship isn't healthy and people need to realize to stick up for themselves and choose a different path.
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